Hidden+Rules

__** Jacquelyn Kent **__ My experience of this chapter was confirming and eye opening. Yes, I am definitely middle class. I found with my sparse experience of the wealthy and the poor classes, that her explanation of the hidden rules makes sense. Without understanding the rules/culture of the poor, the middle and wealthy classes become frustrated and dismissive because the poor can be seen in welfare lines while using their smart phones and wearing brand name clothing. Poor people can be found in court for not paying fees and fines because they went on vacation. As a side note, Chris Rock’s movie //Hair // indirectly addresses this issue of impoverished classes “misspending” resources. But, he also helps to understand the value associated with hair that creates an apparent contradiction to the values established in the upper echelons. The population with greater assets sees the poorer as undisciplined and makers of their own fate. What isn’t understood is the culture they grew up in and learned from did not teach them the tactics, strategies, and tools that middle class and upper class groups take for granted.

Payne does “frame” the issues of class in ways that are accessible and useful. I always am fearful of over simplification, because one can end up using a hammer to measure the length of wood – it’s the wrong tool. However, this is a tool that can be used well. And as a springboard for discussion between groups and for relating to difference.

I think to even further simplify, the concepts of the future and how you plan for them are very different and have the greatest effect. The future for the wealthy relates to decades, generations, and the impact you family/institution has for long term. The fewer resources one has, the less concern one has for passing possession and/or wealth to future generations. On very limited resources, one makes decisions just for the day, because the future is completely unknown. The inability to maintain stable resources along side the other constant changes in impoverished living create a sense of living for today. Saving money seems useless because it will always be another emergency later – your own or someone elses. When living in a resource impoverished world, one needs to share assets which makes saving any difficult. There in lies a sense that one can never catch up so might as well enjoy a few good times and possessions. This is what middle and upper class members have the toughest time contemplating and therefore show little compassion for the effects. The American ethos of “pulling yourself up by your boot straps” doesn’t make sense in impoverished cultures because tomorrow may not ever come or the little resources that I save are eaten in misfortunes.

//Alike Jacqui I too fit in most like that of the middle class. I also found that the idea that the people in the poverty class will avoid paying their court fees in lieu they go on vacation with the money very interesting as I have seen my brother do this first hand. I haven’t seen the movie “Hair” but now I definitely want to. -KATE//

// I completely agree with how you interpret Payne's "hidden rule" in regards to money. It makes complete sense how individuals in poverty feel that "one can never catch up so might as well enjoy a few good times and possessions." I admit guilt of showing little compassion of such behavior. How many times have I drove past a homeless person thinking, "I'm not going to spare this guy a few cents just to feed his drinking habits."-SABRINA //

__** Jesse Santana **__ Hidden rules among classes are the unspoken cues and habits of a group. Within the poor, middle, and wealthy classes there are distinct cueing systems that exist among groups and economic classes. These hidden rules in each class vary a great deal from one class to the next. Payne (2005) breaks down the classes as that of poverty, the middle class, and the wealthy with each having varied hidden rules.

Payne (2005) included a quiz in her writing to determine if the reader would be able to survive in one or more of the classes. The quiz is to measure the readers knowledge of the hidden rules in each class. After taking the quiz I categorized myself as in the middle class because I was able to mark a “yes” for almost every question that was asked. For the poverty section I was only able to mark a “yes” for a couple of the questions they asked and found most of the questions being asked bizarre and no relevance to my life. Then when reading the wealthy section I did not mark a single “yes” and realized that most of those questions did not have any relevance to my life just as much as the poverty section did. I believe that after taking the quiz I would not be able to survive in neither the poverty class nor the wealthy class. I do imagine living in the wealthy class would be easier because of financial resources, but the hidden rules among the class would be too much for me to handle. As for living in poverty, I would not survive in this class either because I do not know how to fight to defend myself or get my hands on a gun illegally if needed.

Payne (2005) displayed the hidden rules among classes in a table which I found pretty accurate. The hidden rules that were outlined for the middle class I felt were pretty accurate in regards to me. After looking at the chart that was outlined by Payne (2005) I reflected on how I was raised and found it very interesting because I felt that the chart described me in a way. And when looking at the charts hidden rules for poverty and wealthy I felt that living in those classes would be a total culture shock and I would not fit in any way within those classes.

As a school psychologist to be aware of these hidden rules among classes is important because if I am not aware of the rules I could end up pushing students and parents away rather than helping them. Being aware of the classes will help me as a school psychologist be able to better communicate and relate to others from a different class. Working in the school system we are eventually going to come across that kid who is from an unfamiliar class than our own and it is important that we know how to interact and understand them so that we work together rather than against each other.

//I also agree with how having an understanding of the "hidden rules" can impact one's effectiveness as a school psychologist. After doing classroom observations in Compton, Irvine, Tustin, Long Beach, Lakewood, etc. it's interesting to see the differences in how classrooms are run, and how easy it can be for someone who is not aware of the school's culture to misidentify certain behaviors as maladaptive.- SABRINA //

__** Kathleen Kent **__ This chapter was based on the concept of the three classes, and assessing which class you would fit most into, through your experiences and comfort zone in social situations. The “quiz” that we were assigned to take was based on differing tasks that each class level would be familiar with and whether or not you are comfortable with those particular situations. I had spent a lot of time with the homeless community around my area, as I volunteer regularly at my churches homeless shelter, but according to the poverty portion of the quiz I was unaware of the issues that they had to deal with on a regular basis. When looking at the poverty class I was only able to check three boxes. It was hard for me to even imagine going to garbage bins for food, or the idea of having to defend myself physically. Even the idea that someone might steal another person’s clothes at a Laundromat seemed so foreign and wrong to me that I couldn’t even believe it. In the chapter it discussed why seeing, and being aware of these norms would be something we would have to think about in regards to our job as school psychologists the part of the chapter that explained the question about whether or not you could use a knife as scissors seemed dramatically real, when you think about a child not having a protractor or ruler for his homework and having to make do with what he or she have to complete their assignments. This does put areas of inequality into the school system that one might not even be aware of.

When completing the questionnaire for the middle class I felt more comfortable with the wording and questions immediately, these were things that I have done and thought about regularly. I know that I could survive in the middle class norms as I knew how to do all but one of the items in this category. What was amazing to me was that I do not even have children yet but I already discuss with my husband where our kids would go to college, play little league, and what name brands of clothing we would want for them; and they don’t even exist yet! One that seemed especially significant was the question about knowing where to get the best interest rate on a car loan; as I went to many dealerships, online, in the newspaper, and to both a credit union and a bank to find out about our upcoming purchase of a car. It was something I did out of second nature; I didn’t even think to ask anyone for help or advice at all.

The last category was whether or not you could survive in wealth. This hit very close to home as I come from a upper middle class family, but I married into a family who had amassed much wealth and notoriety in their lives. I know exactly where I stand in regards to this category, not just from this quiz, but from knowing that I did not fit in with my husband’s family until I was “retrained.” Even now I don’t think that I will ever be comfortable around them. Although when scoring I felt that all but three of the questions were normal in my new role. I can read menus of multiple languages, I have favorite restaurants in many countries, I participate in many charities, and I collect the art of Chagall. But at the end of the day, I know in my heart that I feel more at home in the middle class category.

Some of the chapter that really stood out to me was the pages that held the comparison of the classes on a chart. The most prominent in my mind was the driving forces portion; as the story from the chapter comes to mind about the family that used the refrigerator money for a camping trip (for entertainment), and how in the middle class the driving force is work and achievement; and finally how in the wealthy class the focus is on financial, political, and social connections. These seem to hit home to me as one of my friends would definitely fit into the poverty category but one day she called me telling me that she had no food in the refrigerator for her children for dinner so I came over and brought her some, then two days later on payday she was at the movies with her husband, with no concern for saving money to prevent one of these situations in the future. In regards to the wealth driving force I can only think about my husband’s family and how they sent him to a boarding school in a different country to make the social connections they felt he would need in life.

//When I took the quiesteneire like you I was also the most comfortable with the wording and questions in the middle class sections. I don’t think I would be able to survive in the other 2 classes because it is not what I know. I bet it must have been difficult trying to gain approval from your husband’s family. -JESSE//

__** Sabrina Cabanilla **__ The “Hidden Rules among Classes” as identified by Ruby K. Payne in the text, A Framework for Understanding Poverty, is an interesting portrayal of the perceptions of those living in poverty, middle-class, or wealth. A chart on pages 42-43 indicates how each group values possessions, money, relationships, education, and other factors in life. The breakdown of these rules indicates what type of mindset one needs to survive in their current class.

After taking the quizzes in the beginning of Chapter 3, it is clear that I have been brought up learning how to best survive in a middle-class family. Going through the chart, however, I found that there were two areas of which I disagree with: personality and social emphasis. My parents always emphasized the importance of working hard, getting a quality education, and seeking a career that provides stability. At the same time, they taught me that while it is okay to be proud of what I achieve, I should never be boastful and I should never judge another individual based on the comparison of their achievements with my own.

Over the weekend, a group of friends and I got together to catch up, reminisce, and of course, gossip. A topic came up about a guest someone brought to one of our recent get-togethers. Upon meeting the hosts of the party for the first time, the guest asked the hosts, “So what to do you do?” Taken aback by this inquisition, the hosts answered (one is a registered nurse; the other is a financial analyst). The guest then immediately replied, “Oh, I’m a nurse too.” There was something about the way this introduction started that (to us) was very off-putting. I sat there listening to my friends and realized our belief that “sizing a person up” by inquiring about their achievements and what they do is a violation of a hidden rule in our own middle-class family and social circle. Being the type of person who fixates on their own achievements and seeks to compare or share those with others is viewed as someone who is trying to force a good impression. To me, this type of behavior is only appropriate at a job interview rather than a birthday party.

//I completely agree with her comments on the hidden rules in regards to personality and social emphasis. My parents raised me in a similar manner; that I should earn everything I want in my life and have no shame to tell people what I am. I also thought that the part about when she went to her friend’s house and all of them were sizing each other up through occupations, I have to do that all the time as a waitress when I see people I knew from high school, so I definitely understand that feeling. - KATE //

//When going to events with friends or family the questions, “what do you do?” always comes up with people that one does not know. It may seem strange to some but when I was raised it was something that most people asked at parties so I am accustomed to being asked the questions and asking the questions. - JESSE//